(To his sister E.) 1807

Dear Sister, 

I was permitted for years to go on in my own strength, to let me see what mighty acts I could perform. A self-righteous spirit will lead us to make such a patch-work garment as will for a while conceal the filthy imaginations of the heart; and thus, we carefully preserve our reputation and honor and get the name of devout Christians; the chief of our food is the applause of those about us. If we are disposed to exercise our charity, we take care to blow the trumpet, lest we should not be seen by men; and leave nothing undone but the weightier matters of the law. But as God had purposes of grace towards me, I was not allowed to go on in this spirit to the end; for all my fair and fond hopes of keeping everything straight, shunning the cross, and appearing outwardly devout, were brought down being founded on my own strength and on my own wisdom. I was permitted to raise this airy tower until it reached nearly to Heaven but the Lord looked down and scattered all my lofty thoughts, and I was obliged to acknowledge that the wisdom of man is foolishness with God, and I was so hemmed in on every side as to be made to cry, "Lord, save me, or I perish!" 

In this frame of mind, I was allowed to continue for some time, until I was filled with my own devices (Proverbs 1:30). I felt much pity for myself and much enmity against God, and thought I was dealt harshly with; and began to look for nothing but the fiery indignation of the Lord. Every refuge seemed to fail me, every false confidence was destroyed; my life hung in perpetual doubt, and every outward providence untoward. But underneath all this there certainly was an almighty arm of mercy, so that though exceedingly perplexed, I was not in utter despair; and it was in the midst of the darkest outward providences that the Lord was pleased to raise my soul to a hope that Jesus would reveal himself to me as my friend; and in the strength of this I was enabled to go many days. For faith, though "as a grain of mustard seed," yet being of the operation of the Holy Spirit, will enable us to creep along fearful of our own strength, looking to Christ for strength, hoping and despairing. So it was with me, until at length be revealed himself to me as the sinner's all in all; and then I knew the Lord by this most glorious name "I AM THAT I AM." 

Yours affectionately, James Bourne

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"The Barber"

Dear Sir, 

As it respects 'The Barber," I can speak with confidence. It was the first book that ever was attended with light, as well as power, to show me the desperate condition I was in. I had been convicted, and I believe it was the Spirit of God that convicted me; yet I had not light to understand what it meant; and I went on in misery and vexation eighteen years, until this book (whoever likes or dislikes it) fell into my hands. 

I always determined never to read Mr. Huntington's controversial books, lest I should be prejudiced against his preaching; because I was told they were cruel and abusive, and written in a bad spirit. But one night, walking along Oxford Street, I thought I would turn into a bookshop and ask if they had any of Mr. Huntington's works. They replied that they had The Barber and another, both of which I bought, and immediately read. Until then I knew nothing of the spider's web I had been weaving; but that book plainly showed me the difference between the letter and the spirit, the form of godliness and the power. 

God by it so entangled me with my own deceiving's, that I was forced to cry out, "Lord, save me, or I perish." Let who will find fault with The Barber or his bad spirit, I will thank God that he should condescend to send that book with such power to my heart and will pray that the author may be established in his own soul and blessed in all his labors. 

 Yours faithfully, James Bourne

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