Why did the chicken cross the road?
DONALD TRUMP: We will build a big wall to keep illegal chickens from crossing the road. We will have a door for legal chickens.
CHRIS CHRISTIE: We need to water board that chicken to find out why it crossed the road.
MARCO RUBIO: Let's dispel this notion that Barack Obama does not know what he's doing. He knows exactly what he is doing. He wants to fundamentally transform the chicken. [One minute later] Let's dispel this notion that Barack Obama does not know what he's doing. He knows exactly what he is doing. He wants to fundamentally transform the chicken.
JOHN KASICH: The light has shined so now the chicken can cross the road without the darkness.
RAND PAUL: It's none of our business why the chicken crossed the road.
CARLY FIORINA: Hilary Clinton lied about why the chicken crossed the road.
JOHN KERRY: We will trust the chicken to tell us whether it crossed the road or not.
NANCY PELOSI: We will have to wait until the chicken crosses the road to see what it says.
BRIAN WILLIAMS: I was there when the chicken crossed the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road?
TED CRUZ: And, I would note, if there is anything that Americans should get down on their knees and pray about, it is the chicken crossing the road.
JEB BUSH: We ought to be able to figure out why the chicken crossed the road.
SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!
BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
BERNIE SANDERS: The American people are sick and tired of hearing about the damn chicken.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.
BEN CARSON: I almost fell asleep waiting for my turn to answer. This isn't brain surgery. So why did the chicken cross the road?
OPRAH: Well, I want to encourage the chicken to cross the road. Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because she's guilty! You can see it in her eyes, and in the way she walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: The chicken crossed the road to steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did she cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because she's guilty! You can see it in her eyes, and in the way she walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: The chicken crossed the road to steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did she cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken.15.01.03-2014, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
